Weaving Tangled Webs
by Celixir
Summary: Winona and Wallace try unsuccessfully to convince Flannery that they didn't break her favorite statue.


**The Garbage, er...story**

It was a lazy sort of day in the Hoenn. The air was so still that the only thing moving was a fat lady's jiggling behind as she danced down the road, listening to Shakira. It was the sort of day that leads to mischief.

Inside the Hoenn League Conference hall, Wallace and Winona were awaiting Flannery's arrival so they could view her reports addressing the problems of the Hoenn environment.

Wallace was holding his soccer ball - he'd become interested in soccer and had been outside practicing free kicks. Winona was relaxing in an easy chair, thinking about what to do next.

"I know what," said Winona, bored of waiting. "Let's go watch _Elderly Mutant Killer Zombie Baboon Vixens from Seattle,_ that new sequel to _The Phantom of the Opera_. It's supposed to be one of Andrew Lloyd Webber's greatest works."

"Nah," said Wallace. "I hear it's a knock-off of the first Pokemon movie."

"Well, then," said Winona, "let's go out and twist each other up on the swing and see who gets the dizziest." Wallace thought about that.

"No," he said. "That's silly, and besides, remember when we did that last time? You got sick from the high speeds and were spinning around, vomiting, so it looked like you were a rotating machine gun shooting out puke."

Winona became irritated and impatient with her boyfriend/colleague.

"Good heavens!" she complained. "You don't want to do anything! All you want to do is sit there and hug that soccer ball. I think you must be in love with that soccer ball!"

"I am not!" protested Wallace. "But I'll tell you something - I bet I can dribble this ball past you!"

Wallace was a pretty good soccer player and a _very_ good dribbler. But so was Winona.

The only one who saw what happened next, besides the two Gym Leaders, was the Phantom of the Opera, who was looking through the window.

Wallace faced Winona. The ball was on the floor between them. First Wallace moved the ball with his right foot, then with his left, trying to trick Winona out of position. Then, quick as a flash, he gave the ball a sharp kick with his right.

It almost worked.

But Winona was fast too. She reached out with her knee and blocked the ball, which bounced against the Xerox machine, against a chair, against the coffee maker, and into a statuette, which fell to the floor with a crash.

"I _knew_ we should have had it carpeted!" cried Winona in despair.

"What did you knock over?" asked Wallace.

"What do you mean, what did _I_ knock over? Anyways, it's an effigy of a naked Brawly. I think it was a Christmas present from Brawly to Flannery," said Winona.

"Ugh. Well I'm kind of glad you knocked it over," said Wallace.

"Still, it was one of Flannery's most cherished possesions. How do you think she'll feel when she finds out?"

"She won't," replied Wallace, who heard Flannery's footsteps in the hallway. He quickly scooped up the pieces and threw them out the window, unkowingly knocking the Phantom out.

"Hi guys," said Flannery upon entering the conference room. "Boy, it's dark in here. I think I'll open the window."

"No! Don't do that!" Winona quickly protested.

"Why not?" asked Flannery, confused.

"Um, because I have vampirepostmenopausalsymptomitis - if exposed to sunlight, I get hot flashes," said Winona. Flannery rolled her eyes, marched over to the window, and opened it.

"SHRIEK! What happened to my statue?"

"Um, see that serial killer down there? Well, he climbed through the window and demanded that we give him the statue or be shot. We tried to protect the statue, but he wrestled us to the ground, and escaped with the statue. On his way out the window though, he tripped and knocked himself out, dropping the statue in the process," said Winona. Flannery just stared.

"I don't think she's buying it," whispered Winona to Wallace.

"Then it's time for plan B," said Wallace. He pulled out a can of beans, ate it all in one swallow, and started farting like crazy. Thick, brown smoke filled the room.

"Quick, let's make our escape while we have the smokescreen," said (or coughed) Wallace. But Winona, unable to see anything in the thick smog, went the wrong way and crashed into Flannery, knocking both of them out of the window and onto the Phantom, who was just regaining consciousness.

"WHOOF!" exclaimed the masked figure as the two Gym Leaders landed on his stomach. The pressure to his stomach caused him to fart thick, brown smoke, which amazingly, although it was cough-inducing, was a good glue and pieced the statue back together.

"Well! Now that that's taken care of, we can get on to business," said Winona sheepishly. "What were your reports on?"

"Air pollution," was the reply.

**The End**


End file.
